A goal gets pushed to next quarter. A definiteness of purpose does not.
In case you didn't know, I am a huge Napoleon Hill fan. One of my favorite concepts from his work is called Definiteness of Purpose, and it's something that changed my life way before I even discovered Napoleon Hill as a teacher.
A goal is something you want to achieve. A definiteness of purpose is the calling you move toward. It is painfully clear, it does not get pushed to the side, the timeline does not shift, and it continues to demand and require your attention and movement no matter what gets in the way. Goals, on the other hand, sometimes get pushed to next quarter, or next year, or too commonly, to the someday/one-day list that many people eventually forget they even had.
I have only had this twice in my life so far. The first was when I decided I would go from being a high school dropout teen mom on welfare to earning a college degree. The second was when I decided I would join the Army.
It did not matter to me that I had to lose twenty pounds, climb a rappel tower three times, pass combat water survival training, do basic training twice, and learn how to plan ambushes and raids. None of that was something I ever would have signed up for voluntarily, but it was not up to me to decide what I needed to do to get there. My only job was to commit to doing whatever it took, no matter how many times I failed or how long it was going to take.
If you knew me back then you would have seen a woman doing statistics homework on her birthday at 11pm at Whataburger because she did not have wifi, working part time, taking her boys to Denny's every Sunday because Saturdays were full of work and homework, and missing her own surprise graduation party because she was studying for the LSAT. I was like a dog with a bone and no one and nothing could get in the way of me reaching my definiteness of purpose.
Once I finished my degree I enlisted in the Army, and that brought its own set of challenges I had not anticipated. I failed basic training at week 8 of 10 because I could not shoot. I must have tried 23 iterations to qualify and I just could not do it. I had two options: I could go home or I could start over. I did not want to, but I kept seeing the vision of graduation and kept going until I did.
When I came back home I decided to take it further and apply for ROTC, which would allow me to commission as an Army Officer. I was six months away from the finish line when my husband James died in a motorcycle accident. People around me said maybe it was not meant to be. Maybe I should reconsider going active duty as a single mom. I took thirty days on my mom's couch to feel everything I needed to feel, and then I went back to finish my ROTC program. Six months after James passed, I commissioned as a distinguished military graduate, top ten percent in the nation.
On May 14th, 2015 I stood at the podium at my Army Officer Commissioning Ceremony and the first words that came out of my mouth were: today is the best day of my life. And I meant that with everything in me. None of it could have happened without a definiteness of purpose.
It was not strategy that got me there. I was never the fastest or the strongest, and yet I was always in the top ten percent. That is what your mindset does when you pair it with a definiteness of purpose, because when you train your brain where you are going, it does not matter how many times you fail or what gets in the way. You are going to get to that finish line.
The best thing you can ask yourself today is: where are you undecided right now? What decision could you make today that could potentially change everything for you?
Because this is what trips so many of us up. We get frustrated with not knowing exactly what we want, when we really do know, there is just a layer of 'it's not possible for me' that is overriding the desire. And then the HOW comes in, and this is why so many people stay in the same place year after year. But you must know ahead of time that the how is not supposed to be at the starting line with you. You do not have to know how. You just have to trust yourself enough to take one step at a time.
Think about the thing that keeps showing up on your list. The one you keep pushing to next quarter. Ask yourself honestly whether it is a goal or a definiteness of purpose, and if it is a goal, ask yourself: what would it take to make it non-negotiable? What would you have to believe about yourself for nothing to be able to stop you from it?
Write it down. Sell yourself on it completely. You are already that person. You just have to keep showing up until the outside catches up with what you already know on the inside.
For me it was a teen mom on welfare with no high school diploma, and oh man did I get the ROI of a lifetime by believing six words: your past is not your future.
It's all possible.
If you believe it is.
I do.
ps. Here's my sons and I when I graduated basic training as a young E4. We were all crying and I'm sure I'll spend a few extra moments with this memory in my life review. It was one of the best days of my life.
FOR THE LEADERS IN THE ROOM
The leaders I work with who create the most lasting results are not always the ones with the best strategy, even though they put most of their budgets here. They are the ones who are non-negotiable about where they are going, and who build that same quality of commitment in the people around them.
When execution keeps stalling despite good plans and capable teams, it is worth asking whether leadership has a definiteness of purpose around the outcome or just a goal. Goals get negotiated when pressure builds and definiteness of purpose does not, and that difference shows up most clearly in how a team responds when things get hard.