Entitlement: the fact of having a right to something.
Where in your life do you have entitlement?
It may not jump right out at you, but take a moment to think about it. What is it that you want that you feel owed?
I have felt very entitled for a majority of my life.
I felt entitled to have an easier life. To be successful in my career. To make more money. To weigh less. To be right.
My thoughts were, "I'm such a good person, I deserve to have this be easier."
I felt entitled to have kids that listened and did well in school. So when my sons did not listen or failed, instead of being supportive I would yell. My ego did not have room for less than.
My entitlement was showing up in my parenting and in my relationships. Everyone had to live up to my expectations. I had to have control and have the final say. It caused years of pain and resistance for everyone.
Being entitled did nothing for me but create separation from what I wanted most.
I saw that the denominator between my struggles was me. I couldn't hide it anymore. I had to get honest with myself and see where my entitlement came from.
It came from years of constant struggle to get to where I was. Years of being the underdog so when I made it, I had a sense of entitlement "because I had to work harder" and "all that sacrifice should mean I now win."
But many times I wasn't winning. I didn't have it easier or weigh less. I actually gained weight because my ego could not be bothered to feel deprived. I wasn't always right. My parenting was based off "because I said so."
I realized that just because I am the parent, that doesn't mean I am entitled to be right. I can be wrong and many times I am.
I can feel shame and responsibility. I can love my family and accept them wholly without approving of their actions. I can love without having to control.
I stopped showing up with entitlement. I became easier to talk to and connect with. My relationship with my sons strengthened. My husband noticed a shift.
But most of all, I felt free of control and desperation.
I don't ever want to be entitled to anything, but just show up with love in the way I do everything.
What would that do for you?
Find the entitlement in your life. What do you gain once you lose it?