Save this email because once you understand what I'm about to teach you, you will not be able to unsee it anywhere in your life.
There are three rules of the mind that I teach in almost everything I do. These are not theories but the actual science of how your brain actually works. When you understand them AND embody them, you'll begin partnering with your mind and that can change everything for you (like it did for me).
Rule One: Your mind does not know the difference between a truth and a lie.
I remember when I first heard this I kept thinking, how can that possibly be true. But when you really dig into neuroscience and neuroplasticity, you see it. Your brain processes what you repeatedly tell it as reality, regardless of whether it is actually true right now. Which means if you are walking around telling yourself you are not good enough, not ready, not the kind of person who gets to have that thing, your brain is filing that as fact and making decisions accordingly.
But here is the other side of that: if your mind does not know the difference between a truth and a lie, then you have the power right now to decide to start thinking something different on purpose. You do not have to wait for the circumstances to change first. You do not have to wait until you have the evidence. You can start building the belief today, from exactly where you are, because your brain will eventually treat the new thought as real if you give it enough repetition. Which brings us to rule two:
Rule Two: The mind requires repetition.
This is the one most people skip and why affirmations feel like they don't work. It's not that they don't work, it's that people try them for three days and give up. Your brain needs 21 days (at least) to start moving a new belief into automatic motion, and around 90 days to really anchor it so you are not exerting extra energy to hold onto it anymore.
I like to think about it like renting a car. I was in Oklahoma City recently and I rented a BMW and this car had so many buttons and a push button gear situation that I had never seen before. It took me twenty minutes to get out of the parking lot. My brain was working so hard just to do something that would eventually become completely effortless. If that had been my car, in 21 days I would have been getting in without thinking. In 90 days I would have been driving it on autopilot.
That is exactly how long your brain needs to build a new thought into a new default. The repetition is non negotiable, remember that.
Rule Three: Your mind automatically defaults to the past.
Think of your brain as a file cabinet. Every time you set a new goal or step toward something you have never done before, your brain opens those files and looks at everything from the moment you were born up until right now. It assesses your current level of ability based entirely on your history and then it makes a decision about what is possible for you.
The problem is your brain does not know how to look forward on its own. It does not know about possibility. It does not know about the version of you that is capable of so much more than what has already happened. It only knows what is in the files. And if you are not actively giving it guided direction toward the future you want, it will keep pulling out old files and making new decisions based on who you used to be. [READ THAT AGAIN UNTIL IT CLICKS]
This is why people set goals in January and forget them by April. Please know that this is not a motivation problem, you just haven't created a partnership structure yet. Your brain defaulted back to the past because nobody gave it a clear picture of where it was supposed to go instead.
Here is what will make all of this actionable: think about something in your life that you have decided to do and then actually did. It does not matter how big or small. Starting a business, finishing a degree, leaving something that was not working, showing up for someone who needed you. Write it down.
Really sit with it for a moment, because what you just proved to yourself is that your brain is completely capable of moving from a decision to a result. You have done it before. Your file cabinet has evidence. The question is whether you are giving your brain the guided direction it needs to do it again, with the thing you want most right now.
These three rules are the foundation of everything I teach and everything I know to be true about how we change. Your mind does not know the difference between a truth and a lie. It requires repetition. And it defaults to the past unless you deliberately direct it forward.
You have always had this power. You just needed someone to remind you and now that we are at the end of April, it's the perfect time because this is where many people start to forget the goal they set at the beginning of the year, but I know you can still have it.
It's all possible.
If you believe it is.
I do.
ps. we added London to our itinerary last min to take my parents to have dinner at our favorite Argentinian place - Chamuyo Bayswater! It's a small restaurant with some of the best food we've ever had! If you ever go, I highly recommend!
FOR THE LEADERS IN THE ROOM
These three rules apply inside every organization whether leadership knows it or not.
When a team keeps repeating the same patterns, when culture change initiatives do not stick, when people know what to do and still do not do it… These are not skills problems or motivation problems, they are BRAIN problems, and specifically they are rule three problems. The team is defaulting to the past because nobody has given the collective mind of the organization a clear and repeated picture of where it is going instead.
The leaders who create lasting behavioral change understand that the brain needs repetition and direction, not just a new policy or a one-time offsite. They show their teams what is possible, they repeat it consistently, and they build an environment where new beliefs have enough room to take root before the old defaults pull people back.