I had an entirely different email concept to write to you about this week, but I asked myself what will really be in the highest service? For me and you.. and well I want to tell you something that happened this week because I think you will recognize yourself in it.
I created the Science of Change Lecture Experience, announced it, built the page, and then my week filled up with everything else. The gym, hours on supplement research and macros, calls, the to-do list... Every pocket of time that could have gone toward showing up for it went somewhere else instead. I even pushed the date back a week, telling myself the timing would be better. And then I told myself I would do it tomorrow.
And just because I know this work doesn't mean I'm immune to it (unfortunately). Your brain will fill every hour except the one that actually requires you to grow. This is not about a time management problem, its actually deeper than that as its the delusional cycle of safety, and the reason it is so effective is that it never feels like fear, it just feels like a full calendar.
Earlier this week I got coached in a group setting, which is something that is genuinely hard for me as I prefer 1:1. Being visible, being seen in that way, allowing people to witness what is really going on, that requires something. And what came up for me in that session was a subconscious belief I had not fully named yet, that being seen comes with a cost. That showing up loudly for something I created invites judgment from people who cannot yet see what I can see (I have a hunch this has something to do with my 5 line in human design...)
My coach offered me an analogy that landed hard. She said I am a lighthouse and the people who seem to judge or question what I am doing are not a threat to me. They are simply people who have not learned to swim, but I am the lighthouse. It is not my job to shrink so they feel more comfortable in the water. It is my job to keep shining so they can find their way.
That shifted something in me because I was able to see my subconscious beliefs come to light: if people see me they will have thoughts about me... LOL as I say that outloud now. The irony is that I KNOW how the brain wants to keep things the same for safety and I didn't realize I was attaching a piece of my self worth to fear of what some people may think about me so this is such a great reminder that no one immune to this, humans all have deeply seated beliefs that we are operating from even when we don't realize it. I finally feel a full sense in my body that people genuinely need this work, and that belief is what broke the cycle.
A woman in the group wrote afterward that my story was going into her long term memory bank and that she would never forget it. That it was the most powerful call the group had ever had...and there it is- - the iconic vulnerability I talk so much about. Our willingness to be seen and share from a true place of transformation leads to breakthroughs in other people.
I share all of this because this is exactly what the delusional cycle of safety does at its most sophisticated level. It does not show up as obvious resistance. It shows up as a full calendar, a reasonable delay, a belief that you are being responsible when you are actually just staying safe. And the only way through it is to get honest enough to name it, and then decide differently.
It's all possible.
If you believe it is.
I do.
ps. we had a birthday celebration this week and my heart was so happy to see my oldest son all dressed up. Him and his gf also stayed a couple nights and made us dinner… my how the tables have turned. I loved every moment of it.
FOR THE LEADERS IN THE ROOM
What I described above happens inside organizations every single day, and it almost never gets named for what it actually is. When the important initiative keeps getting bumped, when the team agrees on the priority but the calendar fills with everything else, when leaders find themselves doing all the right things except the one that requires the most growth, the delusional cycle of safety is almost always underneath it. It's not laziness or poor planning, but a subconscious preference for the familiar that is quietly running the show.